Heart babies can change the world

I do a good job at ignoring the sadness but sometimes it comes on hard. I'm a freaking mess tonight. I can't stop looking at pictures and videos and thinking about all the good times we've had with Nathan. This trip was supposed to be no more than 2 weeks and it's turned into 2 months with no end in sight. I haven't seen Nathan smile since February 14th at 7AM, right before he went into surgery. I usually do a really good job of separating myself from the reality of what's happening. I can talk about all of his problems in great detail without any trouble (as I'm sure you all know by now). But when I start watching old videos and looking at pictures of him it hits home hard. A couple of weeks ago when they were shocking him I literally begged God to take him home that day if he wasn't meant to live through all of this. I can deal with a lot of suffering for ourselves and Nathan if I know he's going to be OK in the end. He didn't die that day so I can only assume he's meant to live and we just need to keep having faith.

I believe so strongly that nothing but good is going to come out of this situation. I truly believe that heart babies can change the world. All of this will make myself and Jessica better people in the end I think. I've always struggled with having empathy for other people and this seems to be changing that. In the past couple of months Jessica has gotten involved on a lot of different heart mom forums and she does an amazing job at giving advice to other parents that are in our situation. She'll wake up in the middle of the night to answer calls from scared parents she doesn't even know, just to listen to them. She's amazing really, I just don't know how she cares for other people as much as she does. And then there's that High School Class "Nathan's fan club" in room 710. They put together an amazing banner and that awesome karate bear and sent them to us. We don't know these kids, but somehow we matter to them. Then we decided to start this blog and it turns out around 400 different people from all over the world are reading it every day. I hope this blog is encouraging people and helping other heart parents. And of coarse there was the heart walk last year that you all made possible. We had the biggest team in AZ and raised the most money for heart disease charities. None of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for Nathan. I can only imagine the great things he'll do in the future.

Aaron